Besides this he advised me for myself personally above all to keep a watch over myself, and to that end he gave me a notebook, the one I am now writing in and in which I will in future note down all my actions.
Petersburg, 23rd November I am again living with my wife.
My mother-in-law came to me in tears and said that Helene was here and that she implored me to hear her; that she was innocent and unhappy at my desertion, and much more.
I knew that if I once let myself see her I should not have strength to go on refusing what she wanted.
In my perplexity I did not know whose aid and advice to seek.