Had my benefactor been here he would have told me what to do.

I went to my room and reread Joseph Alexeevich's letters and recalled my conversations with him, and deduced from it all that I ought not to refuse a suppliant, and ought to reach a helping hand to everyone--especially to one so closely bound to me--and that I must bear my cross.

But if I forgive her for the sake of doing right, then let union with her have only a spiritual aim.

That is what I decided, and what I wrote to Joseph Alexeevich.

I told my wife that I begged her to forget the past, to forgive me whatever wrong I may have done her, and that I had nothing to forgive.