" I don't understand how one can live with such ideas.

I had such moments myself not long ago, in Moscow and when traveling, but at such times I collapsed so that I don't live at all--everything seems hateful to me... myself most of all.

Then I don't eat, don't wash... and how is it with you?$JMR" "Why not wash? That is not cleanly," said Prince Andrew; "on the contrary one must try to make one's life as pleasant as possible.

I'm alive, that is not my fault, so I must live out my life as best I can without hurting others.